Playing for Keeps (Honky Tonk Angels Book 5) Read online

“Why?” He sat up.

  Roxie couldn’t answer. What could she possible say? That she was running because he made her feel things she shouldn’t? Want things she couldn’t have?

  She grabbed her boots and fled, taking the back entrance and escaping into the alley behind the bar. From there, it was a short run to her room at the boarding house. She locked her door and flung herself on the bed.

  She’d made a terrible mistake and didn’t know how to undo it. Sure, she could probably get a bus ticket out of town and get away, but how was she going to escape the feelings Beckett inspired? How was she going to forget his taste and touch and the way he made her feel?

  How was she ever going to stop wanting him? And how was she going to explain to Cody and Hannah why she had to leave Cotton Creek as soon as possible?

  Tears started to flow as she contemplated the mess she’d gotten herself in to and for the first in a long time, she gave into them and cried. For what had led her here and what would drive her away.

  Pounding at the door interrupted her sobs. “Roxie! Open the door!”

  It was Beckett.

  “I mean it! Open it or I’ll break it down! Roxie!”

  And wake the entire boarding house.

  She scrambled off the bed and opened the door a crack. “Go away, Beckett.”

  His response was to shove the door open, stalk inside, and slam it behind him.

  It wasn’t until he’d slammed the door that he got a good look at her, and when he did, all his indignation fled. Her eyes and nose were red and tears still wet her cheeks.

  “Aw, honey.” He grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her.

  “Don’t,” she sobbed against his chest.

  “Don’t what?” He worked one hand up to tangle in her hair, keeping her firm against his chest as he kissed the top of her head.

  “Don’t be nice to me.” Her words were broken by sobs. “Don’t be a good guy, Beckett.”

  That surprised him enough to have him pull back and hold her at arm’s length. “What’s going on, Roxie?”

  She shook her head and looked away. “Just leave, okay? This isn’t going to work.”

  “What isn’t going to work?”

  “You and me. Me working for you, us…us…you know.”

  “You mean the bet? Forget the bet. I want to know what’s going on with you. Why’d you run?”

  Her eyes met his then she looked away. “Can’t we just leave it at this isn’t going to work?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  That one word shook him. Right down to his boots. He didn’t know her, not really. And sure, he was attracted to her, but attraction was a fleeting thing and always died. At least in his life. So why?

  The answer was as shocking as the question and not one he wanted to own up to. As much as he’d like to deny it, somehow he’d fallen for her. The idea of her not being in his life gave him a rush of anxiety.

  His knees went weak. Literally. He leaned back against the door, feeling something hot rushing through his body, making his breath quicken and his skin dampen with sudden perspiration.

  God help him, he was in love with her. What was he supposed to do? He’d never felt anything like this. It was uncharted territory and scary as hell.

  “I need you to stay.” He couldn’t admit his feelings, couldn’t tell her that he loved her. It was hard enough admitting it to himself.

  “Why?”

  Damn her, she wasn’t going to let him off the hook. “Like it or not, we’ve started something here, Roxie. And we need to at least give it a chance to see where it’ll go.”

  The sob that tore loose from her had him instinctively pulling her close again. “Damn, honey, don’t cry.”

  She shook her head, keeping her face averted. “It can’t go anywhere, Beckett. It can’t.”

  “Because you don’t want it to go anywhere.” Anger fueled by rejection reared its head. He was a fool, thinking his feelings were mirrored, that she felt something for him.

  “No,” she pulled away and faced him.

  Roxie saw the pain and anger in his eyes and the realization hit her like a loaded dump truck. Beckett really cared for her. That unhinged her, robbed her of her resolve to end things without discussion or confession.

  “I’m not who you think I am, Beckett. I’ve…I’ve done things.”

  “Like rig a poker game and cheat a bunch of high-rollers out of millions?”

  It was like a knife to her gut. His words cut deep and carried with them a rush of fear that had her wanting to take flight. How the hell had he found out? And was that all he knew?

  She took a step back, needing to put space between them, needing to think. But Beckett wasn’t of a mind to allow it. He took hold of her wrist and stayed her motion.

  “Roxie, I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to pass judgment. I just want to know what happened to make you so damned scared to trust anyone.”

  “Beckett…Cade, please. Let this go. If you care for me, then let it go. Let me go. There can’t be anything between us. Ever.”

  “You want me.”

  “Yes,” she admitted. “I do.”

  “Sexually.”

  “Yes.”

  “And that’s it?”

  Roxie thought about looking him in the eyes and telling a lie, but something inside wouldn’t permit that. As much as she didn’t want to, she’d fallen in love with him and she couldn’t lie. She could walk away because she had to, but not until she’d told him the truth. She saw that now. Only how was she going to speak of something she’d kept buried for so long, something that had altered the course of her life?

  “Roxie?”

  She braved a look at him and tears welled in her eyes. Brushing them aside with one hand, she took a deep breath. Time to face the music.

  “No, Cade. That’s not it. Not by a long shot.”

  “Roxie.”

  “No.” She pulled free as he squeezed her hand. “Don’t. Don’t say anything. Please. You wanted the truth and you deserve that.”

  She paused. Wanting to speak the truth and doing it were as different as night and day. Once she spoke, she couldn’t take it back. If she said the first word, there would be so many more words to follow, so much explaining to do.

  Could she trust him to understand? Fear that he would not had her mouth dry and her body tense. She could lose him in the next two seconds.

  And you never had him anyway if he can’t accept and understand, a little voice spoke in her head. Damn that voice anyway. Why did it always have to be right?

  “Roxie?”

  She met his eyes and sucked in a breath. “I’m married.”

  *****

  Nellie Mae’s heart was beating triple time as she climbed the stairs. Twice she almost fell in her haste to get to her room and to the phone. She had to tell Netta.

  She was wheezing and barely able to stand by the time she reached her room. She snatched a tissue from the carton on the night stand, she mopped at her face and then she plopped down on the bed.

  It took several tissues to soak the perspiration from her skin. She took extra care with her hairline. She’d just had her hair done that day and didn’t want to ruin her do. It needed to last until at least Monday and it was only Saturday

  When she had recovered her breath enough to speak, she picked up the phone from the night stand and dialed Netta’s number.

  “Hello?” Netta answered on the second ring.

  “Child, you are never going to believe what just happened.”

  “Are you okay Nellie Mae? Good lord, it scared me to death when the phone rang. No one ever calls this time of night unless it’s bad news.”

  “It’s not bad. Well, it’s bad but I’m fine.”

  “Then what’s going on?”

  “You know my new boarder? That gal from Vegas?”

  “The busty blonde that works at the Blue Belle?”

  “No the other one. The brunette.”

&nbs
p; “Oh yes, yes, the one who works for the Sweet girls.”

  “Yes. Well, let me tell you, she just showed up here crying like her dog had just been run over and Stella’s nephew, that Cade Beckett on her heels. He barged right into her room and they were going at it.”

  “Oh, oh, I knew there was something going on there. Could you hear what they were saying?”

  “Not much, just could tell they were arguing. I did manage to press my ear up against the door and hear this, though. Clear as day I heard her say, ‘I’m a murderer.’ Her very words, Netta.”

  “Oh, my god. Nellie! A murderer! What are you going to do? Lock your door, honey. Call the police.”

  “I can’t, Netta. I don’t have any proof. And that Cade Beckett is still in her room with her.”

  “Can you sneak back down and listen in?”

  “I daren’t. I don’t think my legs, or my heart can take it. But you can bet I’m going to keep my eyes and ears open from now on. And maybe have a little look around her room the next time she leaves.

  “Oh I’ll come help you, Nellie Mae. Stand watch for you.”

  “Oh thank you, sugar, that would be lovely. She usually leaves around four, so why don’t you come over around then tomorrow? As soon as she leaves we’ll have a little look around.”

  “And if we find something we can take it to the police.”

  “Indeed we can. My lord, Netta. A murderer. Right here in my home. What in the world is happening to our town?”

  “Going to hell in a handbasket, my friend. We should ask the preacher to say an extra prayer for our town on Sunday.”

  “Indeed we will. Well, I am going to try and settle down. My nerves are just plumb frazzled.”

  “You do that, honey and call if you need me, hear?”

  “I will. Thank you sugar. You’re a good friend.”

  “Rest well, Nellie Mae. I’ll check on you in the morning.”

  “All right. Thank you. Night, sugar.”

  Nellie Mae hung up the phone and swung her legs onto the bed so she could lean back. She smiled up at the ceiling. Perhaps she should ask Netta to meet her at the diner for breakfast. Some of the other girls might be there and they definitely deserved to know the news.

  A murderer. Right here in Cotton Creek.

  Netta was right. The town was going to hell in a handbasket.

  *****

  Lucas Quinlan stood as the beautiful young woman entered his office. “Devina.” He walked to meet her and took her hands. “So good to see you. We have missed you since…well, you know.”

  “Since Cooper dumped me?” It wasn’t tears of loss he saw gathering in her eyes but tears of rage—and rage was what he’d counted on. He could exploit rage.

  “The man’s a fool, even if he is my son.” Lucas led her to the sofa. “Please, have a seat. Would you like a drink?”

  “That’d be lovely, thank you. I was surprised to get your call, Mr. Quinlan.”

  “Lucas, please.” Lucas went to the bar. He had no doubt that Devina was surprised. He’d been overjoyed when Cooper had dumped the girl. She was not fit to be part of the Quinlan family.

  She came from a family who’d made their money in the adult entertainment industry. Not as stars, but as producers. Devina had been spoiled by all that money could buy until she was in her twenties and her family’s business went belly up over an indictment by the Justice Department that linked them to drug trafficking. Apparently, the porn DVDs they sold and shipped from one of their sites contained more than dirty movies.

  He’d tried to talk Cooper into breaking up with Devina when he found out, but Cooper spouted the line that children shouldn’t suffer for the sins of their fathers. Instead of driving them apart, Lucas had driven them closer. So close that Cooper had proposed.

  It had taken a good bit of money, a “girlfriend” weekend trip to Vegas and some drugs in her drink to get her on film with two male strippers. She’d given an award winning performance that brought Cooper to his senses.

  “I should have gotten in touch sooner.” He poured two drinks, returned to the sofa and offered her a glass.

  Devina took a sip of the drink, then set it aside. “So, why did you want to see me?”

  Lucas smiled. “It’s about Cooper. I may know a way you can—”

  “I don’t want him back, if that’s where you’re headed. He humiliated me and I wouldn’t take him back if he was the last fucking man on this planet.”

  “I wasn’t going to say get him back; I was going to say get revenge.”

  Devina’s smile told him he’d hit the mark. “I’m listening.”

  “Well, as it turns out, Cooper has decided to branch out on his own, and I get the feelings he’s in over his head. Now, what if he had a pregnant fiancé suddenly show up?”

  “But I’m not pregnant.”

  Lucas got up to go to his desk. He removed an envelope from the top drawer, returned to the couch and handed it to Devina. She opened it and read the document inside. When she looked up at him, she smiled again. “Looks like I fell for the wrong Quinlan. Cooper would never have had the balls to do something like this.”

  “You may be right.” Lucas put his hand on her leg.

  “I thought you were married?” She leaned in toward him.

  “Does that matter?”

  “Depends.”

  “On?”

  “On what you have to offer?”

  “More than you can imagine. Starting with taking Cooper down. Destroying him.”

  “If that comes with a generous cash incentive, you’re definitely on the right track, Mr. Quinlan.”

  “Call me Lucas.”

  “Lucas.” Devina moved his hand higher on her thigh.

  He knew it didn’t show on his face, but inside Lucas was chuckling with delight. He’d just found the weapon he needed to teach his children an important lesson.

  Never fuck with their father.

  *****

  Cade felt a bit shell-shocked. “You’re what?”

  “Married.” Roxie met his gaze, then looked away.

  “No you’re not.”

  “Yes. I am.”

  “No. You were born Roxanne Marie Ellis and—”

  “I never took his name.”

  Cade let go of her hand. For a few moments they just stared at one another. Finally, he shook his head and walked past her to take a seat on the bed. “I had you investigated, Roxie. Nothing came up about a husband. Just a rigged card game and millions of dollars that vanished.”

  This couldn’t be real. She wasn’t being honest. But why? A sinking feel took hold in his gut. Was this her way of brushing him off? But why say she had feelings for him if she was going to drop a bomb like this?

  “It didn’t vanish,” she replied. “And the game wasn’t rigged.”

  “That’s not what I hear.”

  “You’re getting the tale of the losers, Cade. Men who’d cheat their own mothers to win. You think they’re going to admit that I cleaned them out fair and square?”

  He hadn’t considered that. He should have. Particularly considering the men she’d bested. He’d played with them and not a one of them was above a little dirty dealing.

  “Okay, so you beat them. What happened to the money?”

  He saw the tears well in her eyes and the way her throat worked convulsively as she fought emotion. “It’s being used to take care of my husband.”

  There was that word again. Husband. He hated the sound of it. Jealousy wasn’t an emotion with which he was familiar or knew how to cope with. He’d not really experienced it in force until now, and he wished he could make it go away because his gut was starting to burn and his fists long to pound something.

  Part of him wanted to get up a leave. Escape the torment. But he had to know the truth. “What do you mean?”

  Roxie blew out her breath and took a seat on the bed, curling her legs up Indian style beneath her.

  “When I was thirteen, my dad died. We struggled
along for a couple of years and then my mom remarried. Charlie Rose.” The derision in her voice clearly spelled her dislike of the man. “What a piece of work. Mean and crooked as a snake. He promised her the moon and all he did was steal what little she had. By the time I was sixteen, he’d mortgaged the farm so deep we couldn’t pay it off. We lost it and my mother couldn’t handle it.”

  Roxie paused, twirling the hair hanging over her shoulder in what Cade read as a nervous action. The pause was so long he started to wonder if she was going to say more.

  Her voice was soft and filled with sadness when she spoke again. “The day the farm foreclosed, she walked into the barn, stuck my dad’s gun in her mouth, and blew her brains out.”

  He wanted to reach out to her in that moment. Take her into his arms and comfort her, or at least the traumatized child inside her. But he couldn’t. Couldn’t make a move toward her until he knew it all.

  “I left that day,” she continued, looking toward the window instead of at him. “Me and Danny Morris. He’d been my best friend since we were five, and he loved me. I told him I had to leave so he went with me.” A ghost of a smile flitted across her face. “As corny and cliché as it sounds, we survived for three years by the kindness of people who ran a traveling carnival. They took us in with no questions asked and made us part of their family.”

  Roxie closed her eyes for a moment then turned her head to look at him. He could see the toll the confession was having on her. Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked them away.

  “That’s where I learned to play cards. And to cheat. I was good at it, even without cheating. Danny wasn’t, but he wanted to be. By the time I was nineteen, he was addicted and spent damn near everything we earned gambling. And that’s the year we arrived in Vegas.”

  Roxie paused, trying not to let emotions tied to the past stop her from telling Cade the truth. But how was she supposed to sum up all the fears, frustrations, love and desperation she experienced in a few short sentences? She didn’t know how to make Cade understand what it had been like, having only Danny in her life. A boy she’d known almost her entire life and someone she felt responsible for, who wanted so badly to please her yet couldn’t defeat the demons he battled.