Feels Like the First Time Read online

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  Four beers later, she’d dodged the question of her marriage all she could. When he asked again, she blew out a breath. “Okay, Reader’s Digest condensed version. Dad died and six months later Mom died. Of a broken heart, I guess. She just couldn’t keep going without him. I inherited the farm and started raising horses. Things were okay for a while. Then I got married.”

  “Sorry to hear about your folks, Lil. They were good people.”

  “Yeah, they were. Thanks.”

  “So what about this husband of yours?”

  “Rat bastard?”

  “Hell of a name, but yeah.”

  “He took up with my so-called best friend, borrowed money on the farm and had a high old time gambling it away. So, I lost the farm, told the husband and the best friend to take a hike and took the job with the trucking company in Lakeland. Which brings us to this glorious moment in time.”

  Clint nodded. “Hell of a time you’ve had, sugar. I always wondered what happened to you.”

  “Did you?” That surprised her. She’d always figured he forgot about her the moment he crossed the state line.

  “Yeah, Lil, I did.”

  “Me, too,” she admitted.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Those were good times, weren’t they?”

  She nodded. “The best. Life was full of possibilities.”

  “It still is.” He reached over to put his hand on her knee and squeeze.

  “Yeah, I know.” She put her hand on top of his. “I’m just feeling sorry for myself, I guess. And to be honest, it’s more than a little humiliating to meet up with your first love after this long and find out that not only is he still so sexy it should be illegal but he’s a big successful rancher—and you’re a—well, you know.”

  “You think I’m sexy?”

  Lily laughed. Maybe it was the beer, or maybe she just needed to let go of the misery for a while, but his question struck her as funny. “All that and all you heard was you’re sexy?”

  “Well, yeah, sugar.”

  “Some things don’t change after all,” she teased. “Does that mean I get to drive your bike?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Oh, come on, Clint. You don’t remember how you’d always let me drive your truck when I’d tell you how big and strong and sexy you were?”

  “I did? You…really? You played me?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I meant it. But it did help when I wanted to drive.”

  “You can’t drive my bike. Hey, how the heck did you end up driving a rig anyway?”

  “Oh, Dad paid for me to go to truck driving school a year or so before he died. He was having some trouble with his eyes, seeing at night, and once I got my license I’d ride with him and take the night shifts.”

  “What happened to him, Lil?”

  “Brain tumor. That was what was causing the eye problems. You know how he was. Hated doctors so he wouldn’t get it checked even though Mom nagged him half to death. We were on a haul to Washington state and he went blind. Damn near wrecked. Got him to a hospital and they diagnosed him. Six months later he was gone.”

  “Sorry.”

  She gave him a smile. “Me too. But he gave us the best of himself while he was here. And he was a great dad. You know, he taught me how to rebuild a sixty-eight GTO engine. And how to do bat turns.”

  Clint chuckled. “You always did have a need for speed.”

  “Still do,” she replied and tapped her bottle to his.

  “Some things don’t change all that much, do they?”

  Later she would remember that being the moment. She could have joked it away, could have looked away or said she had to go pee. But she didn’t. Instead she looked into his eyes.

  “No, some things don’t change at all.”

  Clint felt his breath catch when their eyes met. Damn if she still didn’t have the power to give him a world-class hard-on with just a look. If he’d been wise he would have looked away, or gotten up and started dinner.

  But he wasn’t thinking about being wise. All he could see was the look in her eyes and it robbed him of the ability to reason.

  “Lily.”

  One word, whispered, and she was in his arms. Their lips met and time fell away. Never breaking contact, she climbed on his lap, straddling him. Her arms snaked around his neck, hands fisting in his hair.

  Clint couldn’t have stopped if he’d wanted to. All those years of dreaming the “what ifs” and remembering her lithe strong body against his came slamming home, bringing a need that was too strong to deny.

  His hands slid under her tight ass, drawing her closer to him. She groaned and deepened the kiss, grinding against his erection. Clint snatched her t-shirt free of her jeans, running his hands up her back, feeling firm muscle beneath soft skin. Skin that was growing damp and hot.

  Lily pulled back from the kiss and reached down to grab her t-shirt and snatch it up over her head. Clint’s eyes moved to the swell of her breasts, above the edge of the white bra. No lace and satin for this gal. Like the girl he’d known in the past, she was still a down-to-basics kind of woman.

  Before he could do more than look up into her eyes, she’d worked her hands down to his belt. Once it was loosened, she unfastened the button of his jeans and pulled his shirt free. She gave him a sassy smile right before she grabbed both sides of his shirt where it met and yanked, sending buttons flying as she ripped it open.

  Air whispered on his skin, giving him one moment of cool. Then her hands were on him, moving over his chest, and heat returned with a vengeance. He reached behind her to unclasp her bra. She paused to allow him to lower the straps from her shoulders and work her arms free.

  Clint moved his hands to her breasts. Her eyes locked with his. She reached up to gather her hair and lift it off her shoulders, damp tendrils sticking to her skin. The motion lifted her breasts, presenting a picture of uninhibited sensuality that had his dick throbbing.

  Lily gasped as Clint’s thumbs rubbed over her nipples. Heat streaked from the point of contact, coming to roost in her groin. She let her hair fall and grabbed his face in her hands. It was the kind of kiss a woman dreams about on lonely nights, all tongue and teeth, a kiss that was not gentle or hesitant; a kiss of hunger.

  And hungry was a perfect description for how she felt. The bulge beneath her gave testament to his arousal, hard and throbbing against her. It was driving her mad. She broke free of the kiss, intent on getting him out of his pants, but when she did, he reached up, grabbed her hair on the back of her head and pulled her head back.

  His lips moved to her neck and she gasped. How many times had he driven her into a frenzy kissing her neck? How many times had she wanted to go further than just making out and touching through clothing when he tempted her this way?

  More times than she could count. Back then she’d been nervous and tentative. Not now. Now she wanted all he had to give. As if sensing her thoughts, he moved his mouth lower. His work-hardened hands lifted her breasts, pressing them up and in as his mouth closed around one nipple.

  She damn near came it felt so good. She lifted up on her knees, working her hands to the bulge in his pants. His breath hitched when she pressed her hand on his erection.

  His mouth abandoned her breast and he looked up at her. For a moment they were frozen, locked eye to eye, then abruptly he grabbed her under her ass and stood. She wound her legs around his waist, clutching his shoulders as he carried her into the house.

  Clint laid her on the long couch in the great room and knelt on one knee beside her. Her eyes moved to his and held. Never breaking that contact, he unbuttoned her jeans.

  Lily toed off her boots, hearing them clunk against the floor, and then raised her hips as he slid the jeans down, peeling them off and tossing them aside. His eyes raked down her body as he lowered her panties and then back to lock with hers again.

  It felt like fire on her skin, the touch of his f
ingers as he ran his hand down her body to the vee of her thighs. She spread her legs, providing better access, and he shifted positions to kneel between her legs.

  Twenty years ago his touch had been hesitant and unsure. That was not the case now. He traced his fingers over her clit and down, outlining the swollen labia and then up. She arched as two fingers worked inside her, his thumb circling her clit.

  A riot of sensation assaulted her, threatening to send her careening over the edge. She arched her pelvis up, her body tensing. “Get in me,” she breathed.

  “In good time, sugar.”

  Good time? Christ on a crutch, she’d never seen a better time. Her pussy was clenching around his finger as if it had a mind of its own and her clit felt like electricity was spiking through it.

  “Clint,” she argued with a moan.

  His response was to lower his head to her breast, sending another shockwave of pleasure spiking through her. The tempo of his hand increased, stoking fast and deep. She groaned, unable to stop the sound or the trembling of her body.

  Just as she was about to come, his fingers withdrew. He rocked back, lifting her hips to work his tongue inside her wet pussy. Lily reached back with both hands, holding on to the arms of the couch. Jesus H, the man was driving her insane. If she didn’t come soon she was going to spontaneously combust.

  She couldn’t take it any longer. Had to have him in her. She pulled away and climbed to her knees, pulling his face to hers and tasting herself on his lips. Her hands worked on his pants, sliding them down over his narrow hips.

  Commando. Somehow the realization that he had nothing beneath the jeans was an extra turn-on. She fisted his hard dick, stroking firm and slow. Within moments, his kiss became more fierce and needy.

  Something akin to delight lanced through her, knowing that her touch, her kiss could evoke that kind of hunger in him. She ended the kiss and sank down before him. She ran her tongue over the engorged head of his dick, eliciting a sharp intake of breath.

  His fingers tangled in her hair as her mouth closed on him and she heard his muffled groan. She held him firm with one hand at the base of his dick, allowing her free hand to move to his balls, rubbing lightly.

  “Jesus.” His expulsion of breath and sound told her all she needed to know. She straightened and pushed him back on the sofa. “It’s good time, sugar.”

  He couldn’t argue with that. Right now his dick felt as if it was about to explode. Clint reached for her as she climbed on top of him, straddling his body. He grabbed her hips as she worked her hand between them to take hold of his dick and rub it against her wet pussy.

  Inch by sublime, torturous inch, she slid down on him, prolonging the anticipation, driving the need higher. He was about to slam into her out of sheer desperation when she sank down, hilting him inside her.

  “Oh my god, you feel good,” she breathed.

  That was all it took to obliterate his control. He grabbed her ass with both hands and slammed her down. She gasped and braced herself with her hands on his chest, meeting his need with equal fury.

  Clint stifled a groan. He wanted to pound into her, to ease this need. It took all the control he possessed to hold back. His chest tightened as he fought for control, the effort making his breath hard and ragged. He gritted his teeth against the need that pounded at him with increasing intensity and began a slow rhythm, pulling almost completely out before plunging back in again. Lily quaked with each stroke, and moved harder and faster on him.

  He grabbed her, pulled her to him and rolled them off the couch onto the thick rug in front of it. With her now beneath him, he grabbed behind her knees and lifted her legs in the air.

  Her moan was one of acceptance. She stretched her arms up over her head, arching up against him. It was so completely feminine and submissive that it threatened his tenuous control. Primal need took over and he stroked hard and fast, her cries and gasps driving him faster and harder until he felt control fading like morning mist in sunshine.

  Impending orgasm had him slowing his pace. He lowered her legs and moved forward, braced above her to capture her mouth with his. The kiss was slow but passionate, matching the motion of his hips. Together they danced a primitive dance, each naturally matching the rhythm of the other. Clint found himself shocked at the feelings. Nothing in his life had ever felt so right as this moment, and this woman.

  When Lily moaned and wrapped her legs around his waist, his motions became harder. He drove himself into her, feeling her push back against each thrust, driving him deeper into her. Her legs tightened around him as her body went into climax. Wetness poured between them, her pussy clenching around him, her belly contracting. Her head arched back, eyes closed in abandon. Clint slowed his movements, enjoying the feel of her orgasm.

  Lily went limp and sank into the feeling of Clint kissing and sucking her neck. He pulled out of her as his mouth traveled to her breasts. He teased her nipples with tongue and teeth as his hand continued the journey down her body and slipped under her ass. With expert motion, he rolled her on top of him. He ran his fingers down between her cheeks, over her anus and up to swollen lips. He fingered her clit gently as he sucked her breasts. Just as another orgasm began to ripple through her body, he shifted and drove himself into her.

  Lily cried his name and the sound made his skin burn and his mind explode with sensation. She took him, setting the pace and rhythm, riding him like a runaway stallion. Sweat poured from both of their bodies. His hands pulled at her hips as his eyes raked over her body, stopping to stare into her eyes. With eyes locked and bodies connected, they traveled together to a shared climax that left them both spent and exhausted.

  When it finally passed, leaving them both sweaty and breathless, she lay down on him, the side of her face against his broad chest, listening to the rapid beat of his heart. She felt his arms circle her protectively. Relaxing into his embrace, warm against his skin, she fell asleep.

  Chapter Three

  At first she thought she was dreaming. She felt the hard, warm body spooned against her, heard the soft sound of his breath near her ear. Sleep pulled at her and the thought flitted through her mind that she preferred the dream to reality.

  Then it sank in. This wasn’t a dream. That hard, warm body pressed against her back was Clint and this was his bed.

  Shit on a stick. Memories of last night came rushing back. Her dad had been right. She had a habit of leaping before looking. She should never have had sex with Clint. This was just going to make things more awkward.

  She needed to leave. Before he woke.

  Well, maybe just five more minutes. It felt so good, and it had been so long since she’d felt this safe. Or satisfied.

  The teenaged Clint she’d known and loved had been passionate and eager, but he sure as shit hadn’t known his way around a woman’s body the way he did now. It would be way too easy to get hooked on him. Regardless of the years that had passed, first love was one that was not easily forgotten.

  To be reunited with her first love and discover that making love with him was the stuff dreams were made of made him dangerous. She’d had her heart stomped on enough. She didn’t think she could take another stomping and sure as hell, if she stayed, Clint would end up breaking her heart.

  His life stood testament to that. He was damn near forty and had never married. Which meant he wasn’t interested in commitment. She doubted her sudden appearance in his life was going to change that. People were who they were. That was a lesson she’d learned the hard way. Anyone who thought they could change someone else was a fool.

  She’d been a fool once, when she’d married Eddie. She might be rash and prone to leap before looking, but she also followed the old cliché “once bitten, twice shy.”

  Lily eased away from Clint and paused to make sure her movements had not wakened him. When his did not move, she sat and swung her legs over the edge of the bed to stand.

  Just as she started to rise, she felt his arm go around her middle and pull h
er back down, engulfing her in his arms.

  “Where you going, Lil? It’s not even daylight.”

  She untangled herself from his arms. “I can’t stay here.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because!” She jumped up, heedless of her nudity and the way he was smiling at her. “I can’t. I’m not a charity case, someone for you to take in because I can’t fend for myself.”

  “I never thought you were,” he argued.

  “How could you not?” She threw her arms out to her sides. “For crying out loud, look at me!”

  “I am,” he said around a grin.

  Lily’s hands balled into fists in frustration and fell to her sides. “Clint, I’m serious. I don’t want sympathy.”

  “Lil.” He scooted over to her side of the bed and stood to face her. “You’re letting your pride get in the way of your good sense.” He put his hands on the tops of her shoulders. “Now don’t give me that look. I know you don’t like hearing it, but it’s true. If you leave now, where’re you gonna go?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Then why leave?”

  “Because.” She mentally cursed herself. That was a stupid answer. Made her sound like some stubborn kid. But there was no way she could tell him the truth. “Because I need to earn my own way, not sponge off others.”

  “Fine, then work for me.”

  “What?”

  “Well, you said you were a trainer. I’ve got two colts ready now, and more on the way. Cam and I are buying some wild horses from a guy in Arizona. They were gonna be put down if they weren’t sold.”

  She chewed her lip for a moment. “You and Cam could train them.”

  “Yeah, we could. But it’s getting close to market and we’ve got a lot of cattle to tend to and get ready. We could use an extra hand. Hell, we talked about hiring someone last week.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, really.”

  She considered it for all of five seconds. She might be a fool to take the offer, but she didn’t have any other options at the moment. At least she could earn some money and, when she had enough, she could figure out where to go.